L337nerd reads: Time of Your Life
by l337nerd
Summary: My comments on the fanfic: "Time of your Life" written by the author of "My Immortal". Rated M for language and badly written adult content


**A.N**: Hello fanfiction readers. I'm here to review a fanfiction that it is almost at the same level, (if not worse) than the infamous "My Immortal", "Time Of Your Life**"**. This horrible piece of trash is brought to us, by Tara, the author of "My Immortal.". It seems in the time she was gone, she didn't improve much, her skills being the same as the final chapters of "My Immortal". So what makes this piece of shit, well shit? Let's find out with chapter 1. (I didn't write this story, credit belongs to Tara aka xXxbloodyristsxXx):

it's tara, im back! **(damn, and here I thought she was dead.)** sorry i waz away 4 so long but first i decided not 2 put up a story 4 a wile cuz of u h8er prepz nd i waz sent 2 rehab 4 cutting nd only got back last mnoth **(mnoth? wow. Learn some English if you please. First two sentences and I'm already tired of counting errors)** i pretended 2 stop so they'd release me, but im neva gonna stop wroshipping staan!1! MA MOM IZ A FUKIN PREP SHE TOOK ALL MA MCR POSTERS WIL I WAZ GONE!1!11! haha lol anyway dis is about ma new fave show Nariuto! **(And just like that I'm a One Piece fan.)** i luv it so much itz so fukin kool!1! ya an my main charectar iz like enoby except her nam iz alabaster!1!1 (gettit cuz her skin is white cuz she's a vampire nd abalaster is another word 4 white) **(It's not funny if you have to explain it) **hiya raven i luv ya bunches! say hi 2 katy 4 meh~ i lov her 2 ya no, but i luv y both da same biches

PREPZ DN'T FLAME DA STORY K?/1/?1? **(*Grabs a match*)**

my name is abalaster dark'ness denouement crimson smith **(Damn, that's a huge name. What were you smoking when you come up with that name?)** nd I am a vampire from a normal skool in da middle of noware. everyone callz me aba 4 short.

I waz wakling down a sidewalk going 2 school with m my 2 bffls anita (raven dis is u! I luv u stilll1!) **(I feel sorry for you raven I really do.)** nd cathlin (katy I no I just met u btu u r liek relly awesoem nd I hpoe u liek being n my story) **(*grabs a cross* I'll pray for you katy)** nd we were geting realy mean looks frm da prepz. we stuk our middle fingres up at dem cuz we r cooler than dem nd we know 2day I waz wearing a ripped up black skirt made up of tons of layers of like tulle and stuff, a ripped up blak corset wit lace nd thigh high blck boots made of like leather** (seems her style didn't change much, still slutty clothes)**. my hair iz long nd blak and has red streeks in it. i have super big green eys dat r da color of grass nd my skin is relly really white **(*insert random twilight joke here*)**. anita waz wearing a black leater mini dress wit red plaid trim at da bottom. her hair iz short nd dyed white and blak stripes. caithlin waz wearing relly pretty black high heeled leather bootsand a little plaid mini nd a black shrit dat said good charlotte on it cuz that's one of our faveorit bands.

suddenly… a giant swirling vortex apearred out of noware nd sucked us in! when we oke up we were in our favorit show Nariuto! **(I know I didn't mention this before but... IF IT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHOW WHY DO YOU SPELL IT'S NAME WRONG? I'll even spell it for you: N-a-r-u-t-o.)**

**Chapter 2:**

look u prepz idk what ur talkin about im tara!1!** (It would be nice if you weren't)** if u dont like the story den don't read it!11! **(Wish I could but I'm on a contract)** raven fangz 4 helping wit this chapter it was so cool of you nd fangz 2 katy 4 likeing it! guyz im sorry if it isnt as good as my immortal cause i no how much u luved it **(*starts coughing* good as My Immortal? Loved it? Oh it's as good as My Immortal alright! Good enough to wipe my ass with! *grabs beer and drinks it all* Alright let's continue)**(cept katy cuz she wasnt there lol) but its just starting remmber! oh yah nd FUK U PREPZ! QUIT FLAMIN!1! **(I'm still trying to get a flamethrower.)**

i woke up in a forrest in da middle of nowere. "omfs were in naruito!1!" i shrieked cause i recngized the trees and stuff **(How the fuck did she recognize where she is by looking at trees? Besides if it were me I'd react something like this: "What the fuck happened? Where am I?" not shrieking like a fangirl)**. we were in the forest of death! "omfs seriosly?" anita yelled "dat is so fukin cool!" we ran arond trying to find a ninja so we could talk to them but it seemed to be deserted**. (Everyone runs away from you tara)** caithlin sed dat it was probably only open during the Chuunen exams.**(Chūnin)**

so we walked out and went to konoho. when we were there i saw a really hawt boy with black hair stickin up (AN: it does not look liek a duck but idk y people say dat but it does NOT it looks al kool nd goffic!11!1!1!) nd a black t shirt dat sed MCR on it. **(MCR on Naruto? Really, you just have to keep on making the same mistakes you did on your last fanfic? ) **his pants were all kool nd black wit tons of pockets wit chains driping out of them. it was…. Sauske!1!1! **(Ladies and gentleman, meet our first ruined character: Sasuke!)**

Chapter 3:

AN: hay raven dis is wat u get 4 being a bitch!1! u 2 caithlin!1!1! ur both pozer prepz!1!1 **(and as expected, drama appears between Tara and her friends)** if u didnt like my immortal den u shouldnt have red it or helpd me rite it like raven!1! FUK U!1!11 PREPZ QUIT FALMING DA STORY K!1! **(Seriously learn to write)**

i looked up at him. "hay Sauske" I giggled **(I just wonder what his answer is going to be. Maybe she won't fuck him up too bad.)**

"hey wats ur name" he asked shyly **(Damn it!)**

"abalasert but you can call me aba" i grinned

"nice name" he smelled **(*bursts out laughing* Smelling names! Damn I wonder what my name smells like.)**

"thanks" i barked **( This sure seems like it's written by a dog so yeah. WHO LET TARA, THE DOG OUT?)**

"i'm anita nd this is caithlin" anita flipped her hair and opened her big crimson eyes very wide nd looking relly pretty like a pentagram (AN: geddit cuz she's a stanist) between amy lee nd a vampire **(freaky combination I'm sure)**

caithlin giggled and played with a strand of her hair.

i took my friends off 2 the side "r u flirting with him?"

"of coarse i am i am a bitch nd so is caithlin" anita glared at me

i killed dem both with a steak nd sucked their blood nd threw there bodies off a bridge then came back too sasukie. "sorry i waz in da bathroom" **(Damn, she takes hating her friends a little too seriously. Well at least they are out of the story, thats a good thing it seems)**

"were are your frends" he asked cutely **(How does one ask cutely?)**

"oh i killed them nd threw their bodies in da river cause they were poser bitches"

"kawai" he smiled "hey mcr is having a concert just outsid of konoha you want to come?" **( I bet five bucks that someone is going to interrupt the concert)**

"yeah!" i smelled at him nd went off to find a place to stay ** ( Seriously girl, learn to write!)**

**Chapter 4:**

AN: fangs 4 all da good reviews! u rock goffs1!1! glad 2 c da prepz r not flamming now!1! FUK U RAVEN!11! GIVE ME BAK DAT MCR ALBUMN U STOOLE!1! **(I think she is making accounts just to make people think someone actually likes this...)**

after walking around for a wile i found the hokages office. i went in nd explained my situashun to sunaday. **(Sunaday, Tsunade's evil hemafrodite cousin)**

"that is impossible you nitwit buffoon!" she yelled at me and had some jonin come in and ite me up. dey put me in a white jacket wit no sleeeves**.( Good now put her in the mad house.) ** i struggled to get out den my built chakra built up nd i did a giant wind jutsu dat nocked everyone out and blew the coat of my body!1!1! **(Wow... why do I have the feeling we have a Mary Sue on our hands?)**

i dug in my poket and got my cell fone out. "see? this stuff is commn where i come from."

"r u from da future?" soonaday asked **(She says with a straight face not really impressed by it. If it was me I'd accuse her of being a witch.)**

"no u idiot im from another universe like i keep saying"

"ok then there is an apartment down the street wit a fridge and stuff so u can move in there" **(She was probably hungry.)**

i frowned "am i going 2 pay 4 it?" **(please say yes sunaday)**

"not until u pass ur genin test nd start doing misions" **(Wait, so if she decides to be a civilian she gets a free apartment?)**

"ok" i walked down da street nd opened the door 2 my apartment. i opened da fridge nd saw it was stocked wit yummy food like ramen nd pocky (AN: cuz she's in japan so dat's wut dey eat ther) nd there were a lot of ninja scrolls n da booksehvles. i read some so i culd be a ninja nd do justu (AN: the wind jutsu was an acident cuz she's super powerful)**(I knew it! Mary Sue alert!)** and then i took a shower. i changed into a blak plaid mini, a strechy tight t-shrit with mcr ritten across the front, riped red fishnets, black boots wit red roses on dem, nd rist cuffs wit spikes on them.**(everyone with me now: Slut!)** i brushed out ma hair nd put a hair clip made out of an old leather jacket and it's zippper in it.

i went out in front of ma apartment nd waited 4 sauskue to pick me up. **(If he was wise he wouldn't show up).**

**Chapter 5**

U PREPZ QUIT FLAMINGD DA STORY K!11! DNT SEND ME STUPID PMS IF U DONT HAVE NYTHING GOOD 2 SAY ND DONT REVIEW WIT A FALME K! raven im soooo sorry i found da mcr album under ma bed PLEASE FORGIVE ME PLEASE? Ill put u bak in da story i prmise!11! neway DIS CHAPTER NDEALS WIT RLLY HARD ND DEEP SUBJECTS DONT READ IF U DNT LIKE 2 DEALK WIT ISSUES.

sauke grinned wen he saw me "u look hot" **(Slutty you mean)**

"thanks" i smiled at him **(Are you sure it isn't smelled?)**

we walked 2 da concert nd talked about mcr and stuff. he told me he likes green dya nd evanescene and good charlotte too. **(I still can't believe these bands exist on Naruto's world, but for the sake of my brain cells, I'll just accept it)**

at the concert we moshed and dancied to our favrite songs by mcr. then during kill all ur friends (AN: i don't own dat song) he kissed me! i kissed hi m back nd den we held hands for the rest of da concert. **(Awww how sweet.)**

when he drpped me off he kissed me again nd it was so romantic. i culd feel his teeth nd they were very sharp like mine. i got suspicious. "sasuike is there something u want to tell me?

"like what?" he asked **(Sauske:"that I'm an horrible written character possibly written by a 5 year old?")**

"like you being a vampire?" i said **(That works too)**

"how could u tell?"

"well cause ur teeth are sharp like mine r" then i clamped my hand over my mouth.

"ur a vampire too?" he asked "well why didn't YOU tell ME?" **(I could ask you the same question idiot!)**

i started to cry "im sorry sauske i thought you wouldn't like me" **(You're a Mary Sue, so everyone likes you!)**

"well maybe i don't u lier!" he yelled and ran away

i went in crying and got a knife 2 slit my rwrists. i was so fukin sad cause sasuke didn't like me anymore. i finally went to bed and ccried myself t sleep. **(You really need to check those wrists there... Aw screw it, if you die the story's over anyway, plus vampires don't bleed)**

AN: And thus ends the first five chapters of Time of Your Life, and as expected from an artist as "talented" as Tara: It sucks elephant balls. The grammar and spelling are horrible, the only two characters from Naruto we've seen thus far are completely out of character , and the story is full of logic holes the size of earth. In short: It's the second coming of "My Immortal", only applied to Naruto. Join me next time as we continue to explore this fanfiction.

L337nerd


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